How About That Thing?

I admit, from an analytics standpoint, I was a bit hesitant to cover something music related. Especially after my post about Damageplan was apparently a flop. On the other hand… Whew boy. As they say on YouTube: “We need to talk about this extremely white rap battle.”

Let us start by talking about the participants, shall we?

In the red corner, we have Fred Durst. Throughout most of the late 1990s and early 2000s, he fronted the rap metal band Limp Bizkit. It’s probably difficult to believe here in 2024, but this band was popular once. Like, insanely popular. Like, even the lamest pop station in Kansas City (Mix93.3) would even play them once and a while.

And… As thoroughly embarrassing as it is to admit out loud… I used to like these guys. Yes, it’s okay to point and laugh. Teenager me, as well as a lot of other kids I knew in high school at the time, had pretty bad taste in music back then. Dare I say, I probably have bad taste now. But I digress.

And in the blue corner, we have Jonathan Davis: the lead vocalist of Korn. And, quite possibly, the man responsible for making the bagpipes metal. 

Where as Limp Bizkit came and went, Korn exists to this very day, and they’re still putting out albums. And most of them are still pretty good.

I’m a lot less embarrassed to admit that I like these guys to this very day… But I used to get all the shit for liking them in high school because “How fucking dare you like a band that isn’t Slipknot! I shall throw homophobic slurs and harass you both on and off-line repeatedly for this blasphemy, you fiend!” I really wish I was kidding about that, too.

The whitest rap battle in history can be found on this album right here.

“Follow the Leader” is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of, if not the best album Korn ever put out. It contains such memorable tracks as “Freak on a Leash”, “Got the Life”, and “Dead Bodies Everywhere” just to name a few. It’s also an album that makes the puzzling decision to start with twelve four-second tracks of dead silence before starting the album proper on track 13. I guess because the number thirteen is cool? All I know is if I have any complaint about this album, that’d be the one. And frankly, it’s a moot point anyway in this day and age of Spotify and Tidal.

Oh, and it also contains a cover of “Earache my Eye” from Cheech and Chong: Up in Smoke if you go to the very last track, and fast forward through it and a long section of dead silence. Ah, hidden tracks. There’s an aspect of CDs I don’t miss. Regardless, this too is probably available right up front if you’re using streaming services like a normy.

And, of course, it features the track in question. ”All in the Family” is… Well… It’s a spectacle.

For sure, you can tell this came out in the 90s. Not only for the hip hop oriented sound, down-tuned guitars, and the like, but by the fact things like “the other F-word” is thrown around quite liberally by both parties. Yeah, 1998 was part of that weird era of our lives where we were KINDA starting to get used to gay guys existing, but were still calling each other homophobic slurs either playfully, or ironically, or both. I’m not saying it was something to be proud of (it isn’t), but that’s just how we were back then.

There’s really no context as to why this rap battle is happening. You just get to the track, and suddenly, Fred Durst shows up. You think: “Well, okay. They had Ice Cube on earlier. Maybe it’s one of those guest spot deals where…”

And then a down-tuned Jon Davis declares his dick is bigger than yours. Which strikes me as the basis of every rap beef ever, but this is coming from someone who’s just as white as the two people involved.

I call it a rap battle, but in truth, Fred is the only one really doing any rapping. And compared to his usual shrill as hell voice, Fred actually sounds kinda bored. Like, he could literally be doing just about anything else, but no, he has to take valuable time out of his schedule to remind this weirdo with bagpipes who has the real biggest dick.  

Davis, meanwhile, appears to be doing everything he can to sound like the fucking devil. His verses rhyme, for the most part, but he sounds like he’s trying to sing in his usual style while rapping at the same time. Compared to Fred, he actually sounds like he’s taking this a lot more seriously. If nothing else, his vocals have a lot more volume and a lot more anger.

The super genius chorus of the song:

DAVIS: “So I hate you!”

Durst: “You hate me!”

Davis: “You know what? You know what? It’s all in the family.”

Yeah, basically twenty-six years later, and I’m still trying to figure out what that means. All in the family? If anything, it sounds like a family feud. And not the fun kind of Family Feud where Steve Harvey sets you up for something memeable for TikTok or Instagram.

Right up until the last verse, where they abruptly decide to call a truce out of nowhere, and declare their undying love for one another. I am so not making that up, either. After the last round of that super creative chorus, they start talking about wanting to have gay sex with each other. Right up until Davis starts getting into the kinky shit, and Fred has to very politely decline, but yeah, that happened.

And that’s basically the song in review. Suffice to say, the word “unnecessary” comes up a lot when I think back on this song.

Even back when this album was new, and the culture of the 90s was in full swing, I never really dug this track. I come to find out decades later that, upon retrospect, Korn themselves apparently regret this one as well. Whether the regret is legit, or because cancel culture started banging on their door and they’re doing damage control… Well, I’d like to at least assume the former is true.

The one thing I can say for sure is that “All in the Family” is a bit of a black mark on an otherwise fine album. And yet, I still recommend people listen to it despite all that, because wow. This needs to be heard to be believed.