How About That Thing?

In the early 2000s, Flash animation was one of my favorite ways to kill time on the net. I couldn’t evenBEGIN to wrap my head around the actual process of animation, but I was more than happy to see what other people came up with.

Granted, even the GOOD animation didn’t always look all that great. Suffice to say, terms like “South Park esque” and “Tween happy” popped up a lot when describing a lot of the popular Flash sites of the day. But you could forgive that when you took into account it was usually the passion project of one guy who wasn’t getting paid, probably had no ambitions for said animations other than having fun and doing it for teh lulz, etc.

Then, towards the end of the decade, a lot of professional animation studios also started using Flash. And while you could forgive a lot of one-man-operations like Joe Cartoon and Fat-Pie for taking the shortcuts they took… Yeah, what the hell is YOUR excuse, professionals? You do this shit for a living! You could at least make it a lot less obvious you were using the tween tool. But I digress.

It was also a time before YouTube, Facebook, and the other five or six sites came along and basically monopolized the internet. True, there was Newgrounds, and Albino Black Sheep, but just as often, a lot of these guys built their own websites from scratch. And boy did it show. We didn’t really have a concept of what made a “professional website” back then, so you designed your layout within the best of your ability, and you prayed to god it made sense to everybody who visitted.

Sometimes, these guys knew each other IRL, and sometimes, they were complete strangers. Either way, whenever there was a collaboration between any of these guys, you knew it was a big deal. And one of the biggest, and most memorable collaborations (as far as I can remember, anyway), was the eight part epic known simply as The Most Amazing Story Ever Told.

Not going to lie, I genuinely thought this was one of those things that was lost to time. However, it would appear I GROSSLY underestimated the internet’s obsession with archiving our nostalgia, because I found it on both YouTube AND the internet archive.

Looking back on this epic collaboration between seven of the biggest flash animators of the time… Wow. I mean, wow! This REALLY didn’t age well. Like, at all.

Our story begins over at Goonland.com: a flash animation site I remember not being especially fond of back in the day, but can’t remember why. And if this first part is anything to go by, I think I’m starting to remember. It’s literally nothing but a hillbilly in an innertube asking over and over again if you happen to have a boat. I kind of get the feeling a lot of the dialogue was improvised, which can work if you have experience in the field. However, it REALLY doesn’t work here. In fact, I’m surprised I watched any further than part 1.

Part 2 is from Rockschool. I don’t think I ever went to their website at any point before this, and I definitely didn’t after. Not because I didn’t like them or anything… In fact, I don’t remember why. I Wouldn’t be surprised ifit had to do with my screen reader software being completely incompatible with their design. That happened a lot with sites designed in Flash.

Admittedly, I don’t know who these three guys are, and I probably would if I looked at their Flash animations, but for what it’s worth, it’s fine. Their part is basically the three guys tripping on a mushroom pizza made by Psycho Rodney, and our protagonist is mostly just sort of there. That being said, it’s not the worst of the eight parts.

Part 3 is by Killfrog.com, and Killfrog, as far as I’m concerned, is a fucking legend. End of sales pitch! Granted, a lot of what goes on in his part is heavily referencing his own little universe, what with the “ball-less dog” and the naked guy, but even if you AREN’T familiar with the Killfrog universe, I’m pretty sure you could still get something out of this part. Also, it’s probably the shortest episode in the entire series.

Part 4 is made by Bunnygrenade.com, and… Whew boy, if ever I had mixed feelings about a flash animator, Bunnygrenade was definitely it. I did enjoy a lot of the games on that website, though. Particularly, The Shemale Shell Game: a sexy little number you’d get absolutely eviscerated for if you made it today.

As memory serves, Bunnygrenade’s episode probably had the best production value behind it. There was actual background music, there was pretty decent animation all around… It’s just too bad it ended up being the most uncomfortable of the episodes. That sequence with the dog… Ooph.

Part 5 is by the legendary Joe Cartoon. And whew boy, did someone take a left turn at Albuquerque. About one minute of the entire episode is dedicated to furthering the plot. Then, one epileptic seizure later, we’re treated to an angry man yelling at Joe Zilla for what feels like an eternity. I used to think this was funny Way back when, and I still love a lot of Joe Cartoon’s stuff to this very day… But something about this specific bit in 2024 feels like it might have aged a bit like milk. Like, if absolutely nothing else, I’d say the horse died somewhere around minute three of this ten minutes.

Part 6 was written by Jay Donaldson, who I didn’t know existed until this was made. And… Well, his Kegel stuff was pretty entertaining, that’s for sure. Clown Tech Support remains one of my favorite flash animations he ever made, even if a lot of the technical jargon might be obsolete now.

Speaking of Kegel, he and Argus are on a mission from god. to progress the plot, and hope that people find this funny, even if no one’s familiar with these characters. Which, as it turns out, worked like a charm. I didn’t know who these guys were when I first found this collab, but I ended up finding Argus and Kegel’s banter pretty entertaining. In fact, as much as I praised Killfrog earlier, I’ have to say that this part is probably my favorite part in the entire series.

Also, I completely forgot until I rewatched, but the line “Well, when you don’t do it right, it goes by faster” absolutely slayed me. Oh man, I forgot all about that.

part 7 was by Camp Chaos. And… Yeah, where as Jay Donaldson’s part was my favorite, this part was probably the one I always skipped over. It’s well animated, but it’s basically the world’s most obnoxious music video. And even here in 2024, I just don’t have the patience to sit through this. And that ESPECIALLY hurts to say out loud, because I fucking LOVED Camp Chaos back in the day. Bob Sesca was my favorite dude from this scene, and stuff like Napster BAD!, and Nipple Man and Tit Mutt were my jam. Hell, even Sponge Bong Hemp Pants was pretty funny. Even if it really didn’t need to be three episodes. Oh well, I guess they ALL can’t be winners.

Finally, we come back to Goonland for part 8. Where as part 1 was an ordeal to sit through, part 8 feels like the perfect conclusion to the most insane story ever written at the time.

Overall: some parts were definitely better than others, but this was definitely an impressive collaboration from a by-gone day. I recommend you check this out. It’s almost definitely showing its age… But it probably gives you an good idea of what I used to, and probably still do think is funny. Which will probably confuse, concern, and probably even depress you when you think about it for too long.