How About That Thing?

If you don’t know, allow me to introduce you to John Witherspoon. The actor, not the Scottish presbyterian who served as president of Princeton for about thirty years. Yeah, that was something I wasn’t expecting to read about when I went looking for pics on Ecosia.

John Witherspoon is one of those guys who’s been in just about everything. Movies, sitcoms, standup comedy… And, believe it or not, he even had a rap album at one point.

I am SOOOOO not making that up, either. There actually is a John Witherspoon rap album out there in the ether. As long as I’m introducing you, allow me to introduce you to the majesty of 63cent.

On one hand, I feel like explaining a joke doesn’t make it funny. On the other hand, is 50cent even relevant anymore? I haven’t heard anything from that guy since he tried to release a PlayStation game, ironically titled Bullet Proof. Because when I think of the term BULLET PROOF, I think of a guy whose ultimate claim to fame is getting shot nine times in a row and somehow not dying. Then spending his career writing unfunny raps about taking bitches to the “candy shop”. Yeah, don’t even get me started.

So yeah, 63cent is supposed to be a bit of a jab at 50cent. Playful, or otherwise who can say, but a jab I thoroughly appreciated.

Truth be told, I never owned a copy of this album. Assuming there ever WAS an actual physical copy to begin with. I remember hearing you could get a copy of the album through the website bangbangbangbangbang.com… And back when the album first came out, that was probably true. Unfortunately, nowadays, the website doesn’t exist anymore. Trust me, I looked. There was a listing on Amazon.com, but while the MP3 version was available, they were all out of physical copies. Giving up the ghost, and trying to find the album on Tidal resulted in some other guy who ALSO went by the name of 63cent completely unrelated to Witherspoon.

Eventually, I settled for a playlist on YouTube. And… Wow. Just… Wow.

You can definitely tell this album came out in 2008. Primarily by how the beats don’t sound like shit, and the rapper DOESN’T sound like a fifteen-year-old robot mumbling into the mic. Seriously, I look back at a lot of the shit I used to talk about rap and hip hop of my time, and while I still can’t say I like Nelly, or 50cent, or Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys, I’d still take their shit over flaming garbage like Lil Pump, or Megan T. Stallion, or Lil Baby, or whatever the flavor of the month is anymore. Five bucks say they mumble, they autotune the shit out of their voice, and the beat they rap over just sounds like static.

So yeah, this definitely is a product of its time in that regard. A product of a much better time that I probably took for granted back in those days, but I digress.

I was very interested in getting the chance to listen to this album again after over a decade and a half… Right up until about track 5 or so.

I’ll level with you guys, a little of 63cent goes a long way. I’d thought this current generation of rappers were repetitive as hell, but I guess that really shows you how much I know about rap. The choruses of any given track start out funny, but as someone who gets really irritated with repetition, they lose their staying power after a while.

Usually, by the time I get to track 5 or 6, I’m pretty much done with the album. Despite its attempt at comedy, it’s definitely a bit of a one-trick pony. And the trick kind of wore out its welcome pretty early into the act.

I hate to say that, too, because I love Witherspoon in The Boondocks. I loved him in Black Jesus, too. Hell, he was probably one of the few reasons I saw Black Jesus all the way to the end.

But hey, sometimes, you don’t know something isn’t going to work out until you try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. So I at least applaud the man for trying.

Would I recommend this album? Honestly… Not really. But if you really want to hear it for yourself, there’s a whole playlist on YouTube with every track on it, so give it a shot that way if you have to.