How About That Thing?

Before streaming came along and improved/ruined it for everybody, first impressions were everything. You had to hook the viewer from second one as they flipped through the channels, hoping to find something watchable while waiting for that other thing they REALLY wanted to watch. And the best way to do that was to give them a very catchy theme song.

Throughout television history, there have been some really good opening themes. Unfortunately, from time to time, the show it leads in to just can’t maintain the hype. The show itself might not be TERRIBLE, or even BAD, but compared to that opening theme, it’s just… Meh.

And today, I’m taking a look at some of the examples I consider to be the most notable examples. They might not be YOUR favorite theme songs, or the show attached might be your favorite show, but that’s really how opinions work.

So without further wasting of time, let’s talk about some awesome opening themes, and the mid TV serieses they’re attached to.

First up…

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was a series of movies that were a lot more adult than you’d think. So naturally, the smart thing to do would be make a kids cartoon. You laugh, but it happened more often than you’d think in the 1980s. Don’t even get me started on Highlander: a series where the primary gimmick was to decapitate your opponent in a sword fight. But I digress.

The theme song was pretty heavily inspired by its movie counterpart, but that much was to be expected. You wouldn’t think you could take a premise like sentient man-eating tomatoes seriously, but then you hear this song, and now I’m dying to see how this works.

Then the show starts. And… Whew boy. This aged like milk. Or… I don’t know, some sort of tomato reference or something. It sucks a lot more than I remember it sucking, is what I’m saying.

Granted, a lot of the pop culture references weren’t going to hold up in 2025, but man, this deserved better. It’s too dumb to take seriously, but not dumb enough to be a good comedy, either.

The one mulligan I’m willing to give this series is that Jon Aston, the man who played Gomez Addams in the 1960s Addams Family sitcom, and again in the 1990s cartoon series, plays the role of Dr. Putrid T. Gangrene. Of the Kansas City Gangrenes, no doubt. But all snark about having the worst villain name since Awful B. Bad, Jon Aston was definitely doing a lot of the heavy lifting. The main character is forgettable, FT was another forgettable mascot character, and the girl who could turn into a tomato if she came in contact with salt… Well, it was a good idea on paper, but I found her more annoying than endearing.

There are definitely worse cartoons out there than this, but there are definitely better ones. Frankly, you’re better off watching the movies this show was based on.

And speaking of shows I really wanted to like…

Ah, The Silver Surfer. Apparently, he’s a woman now. Because somewhere around 2016, society decided we aren’t allowed to have nice things anymore. {INSERT TRUMP JOKE HERE].

Before The Silver Surfer got a sex change in order to rage bate incels, he was 1998’s latest addition to FOX Kids’ empire of animated series based on Marvel heroes. There was already Spiderman, The X-Men… Uh… Probably others I can’t think of off hand, or that were after my time. Realizing these shows were massive hits, someone decided “Hey, let’s give The Silver Surfer a series!” And everybody was okay with it.

The opening theme of The Silver Surfer is absolutely fantastic! It’s symphonic, operatic, and I wouldn’t be shocked if at least fifty percent of the budget went towards composing it. Between this theme song, and my dad totally marking out about how much he used to love Silver Surfer comics when he was a kid, this was going to be awesome.

And, if we’re being honest, it was actually not half bad. For about four episodes. Once Surfer went his separate ways from Galactis, though, it really felt like the show had no direction anymore. True, The Surfer was trying to find his home world after Galactis displaced it in a fit of petty revenge, but even then, it felt like the show had run its course ahead of schedule.

My interest in the show went from “Oh yeah, I got to see this”, to “I’m bored. What else is on?” rather abruptly once episode 5 showed up, and that’s NOT something you want from a series.

Would it had helped if I was more familiar with The Surfer’s lore? Well, in terms of holding MY interest, maybe. In terms of getting that cliffhanger of an ending resolved, probably not.

Oh yeah, the show apparently ended on a cliffhanger. Always the mark of a series that gambled and lost.

It had a good start, but the more I watched, the less interested I found myself. And apparently, I wasn’t alone in that sentiment, either.

Next up…

First thing’s first: yes, I’m aware that’s a manga cover, not a proper title card. I got a little lazy on the image searching front.

a couple weeks ago, I talked about how I only really liked the very first Yu-Gi-Oh anime that came state side. That doesn’t mean I didn’t give any of the sequel series a try, though.

Not going to lie, it took me a while to appreciate the English language theme song. I don’t know what the Japanese theme sounds like, and I’m in no hurry to look it up. It’s not exactly an operatic masterpiece, or anything like that… But it’s definitely got its charm. If nothing else, it assures you that the stakes are significantly lower than they were previously. The fate of the entire planet was on the line in Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters. While I’ll admit to not watching a whole lot of Yu-Gi-Oh GX, a lot of the episodes I saw were basically built around college life in a universe where Duel Monsters is the single most important thing ever. Granted, “Get your game on” was never going to compare to “It’s time to duel!”, but I give them a B+ for effort.

The theme song promises a show about a bunch of college kids. Then the show starts… And it’s a show about a bunch of college kids. We went from saving the souls of our loved ones and recovering cards so powerful that they could somehow destroy the world, to worrying about which fraternity to join, and acing exams.

True, some apocalyptic shit does eventually come around I’m told, but by the time it did, I’d long since tuned out. I mean there’s suspension of disbelief, and then there’s just… Dull. And this is how I remember Yu-Gi-Oh GX: dull as hell.

And finally…

Not going to lie, finding this show on Pluto TV recently, and watching a couple of reruns was kind of what inspired the premise for this article.

If you’ve never heard of The Greatest American Hero… Yeah, don’t worry about it. You’re not missing as much as you think. Outside of an addictive theme song, anyway.

FUN FACT: I actually heard this song for the first time in my elementary school’s music class. True, it was one of those lame remakes where they have the Kids Bop esque singers doing it instead of the original version, but in no way or shape or form did I know this was the theme song for a show back then. And I wouldn’t discover this show until… I believe it was around the same time I discovered The Cinema Snob. So… 2009? 2010? Somewhere in that area for sure.

The theme song itself is one of those numbers that’s a lot catchier than it has any right to be. It seriously just sounds like your usual 80s sitcom fodder upon first listen. However, for reasons I can’t explain, that motherfucker just broke down the door to my brain, told the Starset song that’d been living there to pack its shit and get out, and it’s been living there in its place, refusing to leave, refusing to pay rent, and playing on an infinite loop in my head. I’m pretty sure my wife is sick of me whistling it to myself as I do chores around the house. My toddler is probably sick of it too.

So yeah, astonishingly catchy opening theme ong.

But then we get to the show. And wow.

Look, I know it’s supposed to be a comedy, but the only joke that ever seems to land for me is when Ralph can’t stick the landing. I don’t know, maybe it’s that small part of my subconscious that still remembers Batly from Eureka’s Castle. All I know is a good way to get a laugh out of me is a character that can fly having to make a crash landing every single time.

Beyond that, though, the show is just… Meh. Maybe even below meh. It might even be ugg. All I know for sure is I watched about five episodes, and I want that two-to-three hours of my life back.

And there you have it. Four awesome opening themes for mid TV shows.

Yeah, I know. Listacles are lazy, and any idiot can write them. Although in this day and age, I’d be surprised to find out even the most talentless of hacks still need Chat GPT to do even that much… Whatever.