How About That Thing?

Ah, Iced Earth. If ever there’s a metal band forever tainted by the corruption of the attempted coup d’etat of January 6, it’s definitely this one. Whether everyone who ISN’T John Schaffer like it or not.

It’s especially heartbreaking, because I can’t help but feel like that if the dominos had fallen in a different direction back in 2001, these guys would’ve been the band I declared my undying loyalty for. Perhaps if I hadn’t been introduced to Cradle of Filth around the same time, and/or Tool hadn’t come out with “Lateralus”, that might have actually happened, no joke.

When I first discovered Iced Earth, “Horror Show” was their latest album.

Not going to lie, a concept album about the various monsters of old timy film seemed like a bit of a campy concept. And the 2000s, while still reasonably young, was NOT a decade I would associate with camp. Nostalgia, maybe, and even then, it’d be towards the late 2000s for sure. But camp? Prove me wrong, but I think we millennials were still down with the whole irony thing back then.

And yet, I loved this album. It saw heavy rotation in my CD player, back when that was how we listened to these albums. When some high school acquaintances and I were putting together the most forgettable band in history, I wanted to cover songs from this very album. Only to be told by our lead guitarist to shut up and think of something that wasn’t so gay. Probably important to note that the lead guitarist’s favorite band was Buckcherry, and while “gay” was an acceptable synonym for “stupid” back then, hewas a monumental asshole even by those day’s standards. Also, we wouldn’t get a female vocalist until much later, so “The Phantom Opera Ghost” was definitely out.

As an impressionable boy who was somewhere between freshman and sophomore years of high school, this album was badass. It was metal enough to satisfy my appetite for heavy music, and the subject matter was mostly harmless enough to not get my dad on my case. True, he didn’t see the appeal, but he wasn’t about to get into a “high volume lecture” about how I was going down a dangerous path.

I’ve revisited this album several times in the last twenty-four years… Well, first off, these last four years have definitely made listening to this album a perfect example of having to separate the art from the artist.

As I’ve hinted at throughout this ramblefest of an article, John Chaffer was involved in the attempted coup d’etat of January 6, 2021. Unlike many, though, he seemed to see the error of his ways, and turned himself in… Only to be one of the hundreds of dipshits who were granted a presidential pardon four years later. And even if he’s out and about in mainstream society with the rest of his Oathkeepers and Proud Boys and what not, that’s the kind of stink that’s going to follow you everywhere and make it absolutely impossible to find work outside of some really unpleasant circles. Like, I don’t see Iced Earth having to share a stage with the likes of Absurd anytime soon… But yeah, you probably ought to stick with your little Sons of Liberty project, bud. And that’s me being generous.

The stink of Jan 6 definitely makes it impossible for me to admit out loud in public I used to like this band, but I’d be lying if I said I never logged on to Tidal and gave my favorite songs from “Horror Show” a listen every now and again.

So yeah, let’s just pretend Schaffer’s political stink doesn’t exist, and listen to the music for what it is: heavy metal music from 2001 about horror film monsters. Does it hold up?

Well, I say “Let’s ignore Schaffer’s politics”, but the one thing I have to point out right out the gate is track 4: “The Ghost of Freedom”. I realize 9/11 had happened VERY recently at the time of this album’s release, and everybody was experiencing an intense wave of patriotism/Islamophobia. I understand why it’s here… But even back then, this track sticks out like a trekky at Hogwarts.

That being said… It’s okay. It’s aged like milk, but for what it’s worth, I’ve definitely heard worse. And most of the worse came from the country scene of the time. But I digress.

There’s eleven tracks on the album, and even here in 2025, most of them are pretty good. Each monster of old gets their own tune, and each one has it’s own, fairly unique sound. You’re definitely not going to confuse “Frankenstein” for “Imhotep”.

Here and now, I’d say the first three tracks, as well as the last three tracks, are probably the best listens of the album. Everything in the middle… I don’t hate it, but this kind of feels like where the album goes into cruise control, you know? “Imhotep”, “Dragon’s Child”, and “Jeckel and Hyde” aren’t awful, or even bad. But once we get to “Ghost of Freedom”, I find myself either hitting the skip button, or skipping down the playlist (depending on which time period we’re talking about) to their cover of “Transylvania.” Which, for what it’s worth, is a pretty good cover. I genuinely can’t think of any other album in my collection where the beginning and ending tracks are the best, and the unfortunate souls sandwiched in the middle end up being so… Meh.

John Schaffer’s style of guitar is not for everybody, I’ve come to find over the years, but I honestly don’t mind it. Hell, compared to the metalcore shit that’s popular right now, where the object appears to be making your guitar sound as repulsive as humanly possible while playing the same chord over and over again, I think I actually prefer it.

Matt Barlow’s vocals are honestly what won me over in the long run. That’s also probably why I abandoned Iced Earth a few years later when he quit the band, and got replaced by Tim Owens, and followed him all the way to Ashes of Ares. He probably can’t hit most of those high notes anymore… Or maybe he can, for all I know. Either way, I was thoroughly impressed with what he brought to the table.

If you’re a metal head, and/or you’re looking for some decent music to put you in the halloween spirit, this album is definitely a good place to look. Just remember, separate the art from the artist.