How About That Thing?

Season 1 of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers had some silly Halloween episodes. Then, season 2 showed up, and declared “hold my beer.” What we ended up getting has got to be one of the worst episodes of the entire series.

Seriously, I remembered this one being pretty good back when it first aired. Yeah, I was a lot younger, and not as knowledgeable of things like video editing, coherent story telling, and behind-the-scenes crap like Zyu 2 footage, or the fact the actors playing Zack, Trini, and Jason were being fired for demanding more money and what not. Even THEN, though, I remembered this episode being better than this.

But then, I watched it again. And wow, this one REALLY did not age well. Frankly, you could make that argument about season 2 as a whole. And possibly even season 3. But we’ll get to season 3 when we get there.

And now, I’m inflicting this episode on you, dear reader. Partly because it’s spooky season, but mostly because if I have to suffer, I’m taking yall with me. So, without further wasting of time, let’s check out “Zedd’s Monster Mash.”

The episode opens up immediately with a jack-O-lantern.

It’d be hilarious if it turned out to be January, and Ernie just didn’t clean up his pumpkins. Then again, past experience has taught me that by the time January comes around, your Jack-O-lantern is usually just a deflated mess. Especially if it’s an orange pumpkin. Those white ones seem to hold up pretty well, for some reason.

Billy and Kimberly are loading up bags with candy, and expositting how great Halloween is. They then get to talking about the “World Peace Conference”, which is basically the in-universe reason Jason, Zack, and Trini will eventually disappear from the series, never to return. I actually do appreciate how they bring up this conference in multiple episodes. If you’ve seen the show before, you know how it pans out. But when you’re watching for the first time, oblivious to backstage politics, and not observant enough to notice Zack, Trini, and Jason are often not on around lately and that their voices sound a lot different when in ranger form… Well, it’s definitely an interesting little device that adds some drama if nothing else.

Meanwhile, Lord Zedd is watching them from his throne as he often does.

“Ah, Halloween,” he declares. “A holiday where children dress up as monsters and demand treats from total strangers. Finally, a holiday I can sink my teeth into!”

Okay, that got a little bit of a chuckle out of me. In fact, they gave Zedd a lot of good ones this episode.

Zedd asks Goldar if he can guess his brilliant master plan.

“Durr, we send a monster down to infiltrate the party and destroy the rangers?” asks Goldar.

“No, you fool!. Rita already did that!”

Okay, he doesn’t say that part about Rita. Instead, he proposes that they throw a party of their own, and bring Tommy to them for the beating of a lifetime. If I’m being entirely honest, I think Goldar had a better plan, but hey, who am I to say no to a party?

“Ooh! Can we dress up? I always wanted to be Little Bo Peep!” Baboo exclaims.

I… That is… I… Whuh?

Seriously, I had to pause the episode for a brief moment and let that one sink in. I legitimately didn’t know if I was supposed to laugh, or if I was supposed to begin asking questions. Questions like how the hell does a monster who’s been locked in a space dumpster for ten-thousand years know who Little Bo Peep is? For that matter, why in Satan’s glorious red hell would you want to dress up as her for ANY reason? I mean I’m not about to kink-shame anybody or anything, but I am so confused right now. Probably best to move on.

Lord Zedd’s plan is simple: send a group of putties down disguised as human children, and nab Tommy when the time is right.

Not the GREATEST Power Rangers costumes ever, but they sure as shit look better than MY home made black ranger costume my mom and I put together back in third grade. These look more like something you’d find at the department store, or your local K-mart for a good ten or twenty bucks.

Oh, I almost forgot, Dipshit and Dipshitter are also in this episode.

As I’ve said before, a major theme of season 2 is Bulk and Skull doing everything they can to figure out the identities of the power rangers. Never-minding that it’d put Earth’s greatest heroes in even more danger, Bulk and Skull were clout chasers before clout chasing was even a concept. Although, I say that like the villains don’t know the identities of the rangers already… But I digress.

Bulk thoroughly embarrasses himself by eating a handful of redhots he wasn’t ready for. What a lightweight. I mean yeah, I’m not exactly downing hot sauce shots in my downtime or anything, but even I can handle redhots.

Once that’s over with, Bulk unveils his latest plan. According to Bulk, the Power Rangers might possess the power to shrink, and are walking out in the open amongst the trick-or-treaters! Therefore, if they go around, ripping off the masks of every possible power ranger they can find, they’ll eventually stumble upon the real ones!

This has got to be the dumbest idea these two have ever had. And let’s face it, boys and girls, the bar was already pretty low. Hell, if it got any lower, I’d be tripping over it. Like, I know they’re the comedy relief, and they’re SUPPOSED to be idiots, but even then, this has to be the dumbest idea they’ve had.

So they go through with the plan, and naturally, it backfires. To add insult to injury, the mom of the red ranger they unmask thoroughly whips their asses while everybody else laughs at them.

Getting back on track, Tommy is successfully kidnapped, and brought to the dark dimension. And it’s here we meet this guy.

I have no idea who this guy is, but I’m pretty sure this is the one and only time we ever see him in the entirety of the series. He fiddles around with his keys, trying in vain to remember which one locks the dimension from the outside. He decides to just use his master key, which made this whole sequence with all the other keys a complete waste of time.

But whatever. Tommy is locked away in the dark dimension. After wandering around, reminding me a little too much of that time Hulk Hogan found himself in a similar place, we’re introduced to the master of ceremonies.

I have no idea who this guy is, but I assumed he was going to be the monster of the day. Until the guests start arriving, anyway. Such guests include…

Ah fuck me. Not this guy again. Look, it was funny last year, but now, it’s just sad. Much like a lot of memes that wear out their welcome. Or, just as often, if not more so, were never funny in the first place. Looking at you, Hock Tua.

So yeah, the absolute worst of season 1, and season 2 thus far all gather together to inflict a thorough ass kicking on Tommy.

Eventually, the other rangers figure out where the party is taking place, and join him in the fight. Reunited, they prove to be a match for monsters who, literally a year ago, whipped their asses pretty effortlessly. Rhino Blaster sent them to some alternate dimension, Invenusible Flytrap ate four of them, Snizzard got four of them with snakes, Pumpkin Rapper… Uh… Did stuff. But apparently, the price for coming back from the dead is that you come back fifty percent weaker, if not more. You’re still stronger than Zedd’s putties, but compared to the shiny new monster of the day, you’re basically on the same footing as Goldar.

“So,” says Lord Zedd, summoning a grenade, “they want to play fair, huh? WELL I DON’T!”

Again, that one actually got a chuckle out of me. Unfortunately, that’s probably the nicest thing I have to say.

Initially, I thought the guy who was bringing all the monsters back was going to grow. Instead… It’s Pumpkin Rapper. And in the process, Pumpkin Rapper apparently escaped the dark dimension and took the rangers with him. How? I have no clue. It’s a pretty glaring continuity error they never bother to explain, but whatever. Pumpkin Rapper faces off against Tigerzord and The Uggo Megazord, loses, and goes kablooy. Lord Zedd goes on an angry rant, the episode is basically over, and I can’t even be bothered to finish, it’s so bad.

Good lord what an awful episode! Yes, I know it’s a kids show, and yes, I’m well aware Power Rangers as a whole requires a generous amount of suspension of disbelief. However, even by THESE standards, this was a terrible episode.

I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised, though. Looking at these episodes here and now, I find some of the worst ones tend to be when they try to recycle multiple monsters at once. You’d think having more than one monster on the field would give the bad guys an advantage, considering the single solitary monster of the day usually throws around all five or six rangers like they’re sacks of potatoes, but like I said earlier: coming back from the dead apparently means having to forfeit, like, half your strength or something.

And of all the monsters you could’ve gone with, you went with Pumpkin Rapper? Really? I know it’s a Halloween episode, but so what?

And, perhaps the biggest offense of all: Baboo never got to dress up as Bo Peep. Poor guy. It’s not like he and Squat do anything in season 2 or 3 anyway. Just let the man have his fantasy!

So yeah, I wouldn’t recommend this episode.