When you think sculpting toys, odds are the first thing you think of is Play-Doh. And that’s a totally reasonable place to go, because Play-Doh is, as the kids say, the goat.
I myself have recently tried introducing my two-year-old to the majesty of Play-doh, and… Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to get much out of it. He enjoyed squishing it for all of ten seconds, but once it was as flat as he could get it, he started stuffing it back in the can, and started asking for his crayons. .It was a wee bit of a bummer, I’ll admit, but in the long run, I’m just glad he didn’t try to eat it. Yeah, it’s nontoxic, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t disgusting.
Meanwhile, trying to show him how to squish it, mold it, and make whatever you can imagine with it, I ended up reigniting an old passion of mine. Throughout my childhood years, and even some of my adulthood years, I’ve played around with various clays. When I got older, I tried taking up pottery and sculpture, but in my childhood, I found myself frequently finding out about other sculpting toys, and wanting to try them out for myself.
And as I sit here, taking a break from my latest attempt at a modeling clay sculpture, I thought I’d share some of these relics from my past. Why not? I’m pretty sure it fits within the mission statement of this site, what with me currently being obsessed with sculpture and modeling clay lately.
We’re just going to ignore Play-Doh for this article. Everybody’s played with Play-Doh once in their lives. Maybe you had a can of Play-Doh and didn’t think much of it. Maybe you became so obsessed with it that you looked up the recipe on-line, and made your own Play-Doh like my mom did whenever I wanted to buy more and didn’t have the money for it. Maybe you were somewhere in between those extremes. Either way, you’ve at least interacted with Play-Doh once in your life. So let’s look at some of the more obscure sculpting toys out there that I remember. Maybe you’ll remember them too.
First up, there’s Nickelodeon’s first plunge into the pool. Nickelodeon Gak is fondly remembered by some… But I’m not one of them.
Truth be told, I always wanted my own container of Nickelodeon Gak. And then, for Christmas one year, I got my very own little container of angry-orange gak. I believe my very first word to describe the experience of handling this substance was “BLUGH!”
I knew the gimmick was that it was supposed to be gross, but then I actually tried playing with it, and suddenly, I couldn’t help but sympathize with the adult in those commercials for a change. it felt gross to the touch, it smelled awful… Luckily, I wasn’t stupid enough to eat any of it, but I think all my other senses taking offense convinced taste to not get involved. That, or the smell was one of those smells that was so horrendous that you could kind of taste it in the process.
As for molding it… Yeah, good luck with that, dumbass. I could definitely stretch it, I could definitely squash it back… I can’t remember if I could make it make fart noises like the commercial, but either way, that was about as far as my gak went. Perhaps I missed the point of it entirely?
Suffice to say, at the end of it all, I was not a fan.
Next up was Floam. I can’t remember if this was a birthday present, or if I actually bought it myself. Either way, I distinctly remember getting the green variety, and I remember spending hours at a time at my dad’s old shop squishing and squashing, making The RoadRunner, making Dr. Robotnik’s various machines (or as close a proximation as I could, anyway)… And then, it dried out, and became absolutely useless a couple days later.
It turns out Floam was never intended to be a longterm toy like Play-Doh. It was more like the professional modeling clay where in you made something, then set it out to dry. And before long, you had a neat little floam sculpture you could show off to your friends. I wish I knew that upon retrospect, but I still enjoyed the time I had with it.
The thing I remember the most, for better or for worse, was the texture. The texture was… Interesting. It wasn’t gross like Gak, but it wasn’t smooth like Play-Doh. It was very… Grainy, for lack of a better term. Kind of like someone figured out how to melt a sponge.
Despite the texture taking a little getting used to, though, it was still a breeze to sculpt with. It’s a shame you can’t really find this one around anymore.
Next up is another personal favorite of mine: Smud. After Gak came and went, Nickelodeon tried their hands at another, more logical substance. Thus Smud was born.
It’s been ages since I got my one and only little blue squarish container to squish around and play with, but as memory serves… Yeah, this was basically Play-Doh. To me, at least, it felt like Play-Doh, it molded like Play-Doh… I think it even smelled like Play-Doh. Basically, it was Play-Doh by Nickelodeon. And I was okay with it.
While I didn’t enjoy it quite as much as Floam, it definitely killed some free time at my aunt’s house once or twice. Not to mention I loved sculpting the little Smud mascot, and either reenacting the commercial, or making him go on the kind of adventures that only an eight or nine-year-old could come up with.
Which reminds me, when it comes to Smud, I think I ended up liking the commercial more than I liked the actual product. The tune was catchy, and I could even sing it from start to finish at one point. The mascot was entertaining, and I wished they would’ve made more commercials with him. I didn’t look forward to many commercials when I watched TV, but the commercial for Smud was one of the rare exceptions to the rule.
But then, I actually got some. While I didn’t feel ripped off, or anything like that, I didn’t find it quite as entertaining as I thought I was going to. Once I got bored with, and my parents got ANNOYED with me reenacting the commercial, or talking in The Smud Guy’s voice, there really wasn’t any reason to keep playing.
Still, I found it to be a much better experience than Gak ever was.
Last up, there’s Squand. It was a sculpting toy with a gimmick.
Basically, you could only mold it when it was underwater. When you took your structure out of water, and let it dry, it hardened instantly! Then, when you put it back in the water, it’d go right back to where it started, and you could make new sculptures.
I confess, this is the one sculpting toy I never got a container of. Largely because I couldn’t see my way past the name. Squand? I mean fine, maybe Smud and Floam weren’t all that original, either, but something about Squand just sounded kind of lame.
Also, I remember the gimmick seemed a little to absurd to me. I could appreciate someone attempting to combine Play-Doh with the concept of bath toys… But you know, not EVERYTHING results in Peanut Butter Cups.
Furthermore, I’m pretty sure my mom absolutely refused to let me have any of it. Something about ruining the bathtub, I think? I can’t remember anymore, but yeah, that was definitely strike three for Squand right there.
that stuff anywhere NEAR her bathtub.
The commercial was your typical fare, wherein a smart adult begins a lecture on a boring topic, only for the kids to present him with some science fiction glop he’s never heard of. Long story short, his brain self destructs, and I’m pretty sure he’s in a mental institution somewhere to this very day.
Meanwhile, good luck finding Squand anywhere around these days. Of all the sculpting toys that dared to compete with Play-Doh, this one definitely had the shortest shelf life. By contrast, Floam and Smud came and went, and I can’t find them anymore, but back then, I could still find maybe a stray container of one or the other at the local Walmart bargon bin. Meanwhile, Squand was forgotten about almost as quickly as it showed up, as memory serves.
I’m sure if I’d actually gotten ahold of some, maybe I’d have more of an opinion. But like I said, this one was the hardest one to find, and even if I DID want some, I’d have an uphill battle trying to convince my mom to let me get it. So yeah, maybe it’s for the better I left this one be.
And that’ll do it for the nostalgic sculpting toys.
As it stands right now, I’m getting back into modeling clay and sculpting substances, and I’ve thought about reviewing some of the more modern contenders. It’d have to be WAY down the line, but I’ve given some thought to it.
Till then, I have a lizard to mold.
How About That Thing? 
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