How About That Thing?

It’s that time again. That wonderful time of the year where we stop flooding the social network with rainbow and hibiscus emojis, and start flooding them with handicap sign and person with [INSERT TOOL ASSOCIATED WITH DISABILITY] emojis instead. Kind of. Yeah, I notice there isn’t quite as much love for us impaired folk as there are for the LGBT. Probably because the impaired folk have more of a sense of humor about ourselves and don’t threaten to bite your head off after making your quote of the day post a joke from Mark Normand about how Coors Lite is bottled water that chooses to identify as beer.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this year, I plan on tackling the topic of disability as portrayed by some of my favorite shows. It was a topic I thought about addressing last year… but, upon retrospect, maybe starting out with the Family Guy episode that legit infuriated me the most might have been a bad idea. Largely because once I was done ranting and raving, I was convinced nobody was going to want a whole month of me bitching, screaming “THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!”.

Then again, if Dr. ER can make an entire career out of pointing out everything wrong in television’s portrayals of the emergency room and gain a million followers, why not? Just, you know, maybe don’t start with Family Guy this time.

Instead, I decided to start with a show I actually like. I’ve covered King of the Hill on here once before, and it was a topic that most of the popular reviewers and commentators (IE, your Shady Dewrags, your Johnny 2 Chellos, your Kittymonks, and what not) haven’t talked about to death. Although it’s probably because it had a lot of foot stuff in it, and most people, even in 2026, are uncomfortable with that.

Trust me, there’s no foot stuff in this episode. Although there IS some hot sweaty love being made on the kitchen table between old people. That’s better, right?

The episode in question is season 2’s “The unbearable Blindness of Laying.” Yes, I know, it’s a Christmas episode. I can’t help it if disability month features Christmas. Just like how Pride month can’t help having Juneteenth smack dab in the middle of it. Seriously, that’s got to be an awkward conversation between groups. But I digress.

The episode begins like all Christmas episodes do: with colored lights, and slay bells in the background. I’d joke about this being the way you know it’s a Christmas episode, except it’s Texas. To hear it from my dad, it’s considered abnormal for temperatures to go anywhere NEAR thirty degrees or below. Also, in the case of King of the Hill, it includes a halfway decent acoustic guitar version of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” as Hank makes sure every single light is in the right order in that Hank Hill way.

We’re informed by Peggy that Hank’s mom is coming to town, and she’s bringing a new boyfriend with her. Hank is NOT looking forward to meeting the new guy… And boy do I relate to Hank in this instance.

To make a long story short, my parents separated in 1999. Then reunited in 2001, and then reseparated and finally divorced in 2006. My dad moved out, but I still lived with my mom while I finished college, and she got back on her feet. And in the process, I met a couple of the boyfriends she brought home. And yes, there’s definitely that feeling of “how do I know this one is going to be different” in the air when you know he’s coming over, but you know nothing about him. How do you know this guy will treat your mom right? How do you know he isn’t just another ill-tempered chainsmoker who goes from zero to Incredible Hulk over something as trivial as whether or not something qualifies as a fucking casserole?

So yeah, I get it. It’s kind of an uncomfortable situation that first time you meet them.

Anyway, they go to the airport, and that’s when Hank meets his mom’s new boyfriend.

This is Gary Kasner: a Jewish man who’s always got a one-liner queued up and ready.

He makes a great first empression on everybody, but not on Hank. Comedy ensues.

Then one day, Hank and Peggy are getting ready to leave for peewee basketball. This always struck me as odd, because Hank has never expressed any interest in ANY sort of basketball before. If Bobby were on the team, it would’ve been understandable, but he’s not, so… Yeah.

But hey. King of the Hill is legendary for having continuety errors out the wazoo. Just tell yourself: “it’s just a show, I should really just relax.”

Hank has to turn back around, and get the right foam finger. Only to walk in on his mom and his potential father-in-law pounding it out on the kitchen table. Hank closes the door, and in the midst of his own horror, he goes blind. As I’m sure anybody would at the sight of their parents pounding it out.

Right out the gate, my only real grievance is that when Hank goes blind, they show his point of view being nothing but bleach-white. As someone who had vision, and lost some of it… Yeah, that’s not accurate. Before I regained light perception in my right eye, all I could see through my right eye after going blind was black rather than white. Pitch black.

Then again, my vision loss was the result of a medical procedure with a fifty-percent chance of success. Hank’s vision loss is more psychological. Perhaps psychological blindness is more white? I actually don’t know.

After visitting a doctor, and basically being told that histerical blindness goes away anywhere between a couple days and a couple of weeks, the inconvenience sets in. Dale, Bill, and Boomhower… Well, okay, Bill and Dale, make really unfunny jokes at Hank’s expense. Which on one hand sounds cruel to the uninitiated… Or if you’re female. But trust me, every group of all-male friends I’ve ever been part of does this to each other all the time. It’s how you know you’re friends. That being said…

“Hey Hank,” asks Bill. “. What am I thinking right now? Huh? You can’t see!”

I… Don’t get it. Then again, Bill is the hurr-durr of the quartet, so maybe I wasn’t supposed to?

Even Gary gets in on it with his favorite joke about Hank getting mink coats. Honestly, I’ve encountered worse, but yeah, the teasing definitely gets old after a while.

Hank goes out to the truck to wait for Peggy to take him to his father’s house for Christmas lunch. After one final plee to come back and confront his fears, Hank says no.

In the next scene, they’re on the road. Hank makes a remark about how he feels better the further they get from that kitchen table. Only to realize it was Gary he was talking to the whole time, not Peggy. Apparently, Peggy decided to send Gary in her place, which… No. That is NOT something you do to a blind man. I know Hank is psychologically blinded, and one of the best cures for it is to confront your fear, but good god, woman, you give a blind man a warning before you pull something like that!

One awkward car ride later, we get to Cotton Hill’s house. Whew boy, Cotton Hill. That man ALONE needs his own article. For now, though, let’s just say he needs convincing that Hank is, indeed, blind. One hit later…

“Well, you’re blind or you’re slow. I’d believe both.”

Hank informs Cotton he’s going to need him to guide him around. Cotton, on the other hand, outright refuses, insisting he doesn’t want another man copping a feel. Which… Look, man, I get it. Sided guide is just as awkward for me as it is for you. I don’t like it, and you’d be amazed how many people don’t particularly care for it. But if you just go through with it, and don’t think too hard about it, we’ll all get through this just fine.

Lunch becomes a complete disaster once Gary hears some of the awful things Cotton has to say about Hank’s mom. He stands up to him immediately, and swears he’ll kick his ass if he ever talks about her like that again, which immediately wins him points with Hank.

And then, Gary takes Hank to The Kansas Cathedral. While it has nothing to do with blindness by default, my offended sensibilities come from the fact that I’m a Kansan through and through, and I’m sick and tired of being associated with this televangelist bullshit. It’s almost as bad as all the other forty-nine states associating us with The Wizard of Oz, and/or remarking “you aren’t in Kansas anymore” like it’s the funniest fucking thing ever. Fuck you too, asshole! Oh, and by the way, Kansas raises wheat. NOT CORN, WHEAT!

While sitting in the church, listening to royalty-free Pat Robertson go on the usual rant, Gary confesses he knows why Hank went blind. The two of them make peace, and all is forgiven. Then Hank gets faith-healed by the priest on stage, and his psychological blindness goes away within an instant.

Yeah, I WISH it worked that way.

FUN FACT: You have no idea how many times I’ve encountered idiots who want to pray for me, or think they have the power to heal my blindness with prayer while I’m out and about. I know they probably mean well deep down, but for the love of A.J. Applegate’s ginormous ass on toast, DROP IT! My two-year-old son has more impulse control than you guys seem to have, and… Well… He’s two! The fuck is YOUR excuse.

The episode ends with more teasing from the guys, only for them to learn the hard way Hank ain’t blind no more, and an ass kicking is on the horizon.

And that’s the episode in review.

In the longrun… It doesn’t really do anything offensive. Hank gets around using a foam finger throughout the episode, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Also, those folding canes get pretty pricy. I remember having to pay, like, $40.00 for just one! Even if Hank DID know how to purchase one, I have a hard time imagining him getting something he’d only use for a couple days, then never again.

All and all, I’d hesitate to call it accurate or inaccurate in most ways… But compared to other portrayals, it’s pretty harmless. On top of that, it’s one of the better Christmas episodes I’ve ever seen from a show. Probably because Christmas itself is really more of a set piece than the theme of the episode. I’ll probably talk about it again in December, but man, I hate Christmas episodes.

It’s worth a watch, even if you aren’t scrutinizing it for errors on this and that.